Co-parenting with My Daughter

by Donna Kirk on April 27, 2014

My daughter Kelley and I have decided to co-parent. She’s probably deciding on our new baby right now. I know she’ll pick a good one. I’m not a research person but Kelley can discuss anything from car mechanics to home-made bacon jam.

She already has three babies, but they’re strictly hers. At least the two felines are. I’m allergic to cats and don’t dare touch the creatures. Uno, the goofapotamus, as Kelley calls him, loves everyone. He’s a seventy-five pound boxer/lap dog.

This ridiculousness started today when Kelley phoned – she lives in North Carolina. “Mom I want to run something by you.”

When my kids (forty-four, forty-two and forty-one) say this I know that the “something” is more likely going to run over me than by me.

“Un-hun,” I said, already on guard.

“I guess this is silly but………….”

Of course I had to press her to tell me. “What’s going on, Honey?”

“Well, I was on line and I saw an ad for a cute, SUPER CUTE, bulldog.” Kelley knows I love bull dogs and that her father hates all household pets (pests), so we’ve never had one.

“Ummmm….” I said.

“And, Mom – she’s only six hundred dollars!”

This is a SUPER LOW price for a bull dog and I smelled a rat.

“Really?” I said.

“Yeah and when I told the lady I couldn’t afford six hundred and offered three, she accepted.”

That rat was in the last stages of decomp now. “Honey, bull dogs have to be birthed by caesarian section and that’s very expensive. You need to check this out a bit more. Find out about the breeder.”

“I didn’t know that, Mom. But I’ll send you a picture of the puppy, she’s SOOOO CUTE.”

She knows I can’t resist bull dogs.

“Anyway Mom, I’ll find out more and call you back.”

Ten minutes later Kelley called. “When I asked the woman if I could come and see the dog, she said it would have to be shipped. So I said, ‘Oh, you’re not in North Carolina?’ ‘No, I’m in Cameroon.’”

“Africa,” I said. “Kel, it’s a total scam. They’d want the shipping costs up front, plus the three hundred dollars. And, there’d be no dog on the way.” This was a con with panache.

Kelley laughed. “I sure got sucked in! Oh, well, I thought it was too good to be true.”

We talked about our weekend plans, the weather and how her job was going. “I’ll phone on Sunday as usual, Mom. Have a nice weekend.”

After our chat, I started thinking, a dangerous thing. I knew Kelley couldn’t afford a properly bred bull dog. I’ve wanted one for years. There’s nothing cuter than a bull dog puppy and nothing quite as stubborn as a full grown ‘Bully’ (so I’ve heard). I read the breed is also slow to train.

I could run out and buy one for myself but the animal would receive no love from my husband and I’d never hear the end of it (his family were cat people). I also don’t want to be obliged to go for twice daily walks. Then there’s the drooling and snorting, epidemic with that breed. Cleaning up the back yard and hubby cursing because he’s stepped in a pile I missed. Polka dot lawn it it’s a female.

I phoned Kelley back. “Hi dear, I’ve been thinking. If you want a bull dog puppy, I’ll buy you one.”

Silence at her end.

“She’ll be good company for Uno and the cats.”

“Mom?” she said.

I pressed on. “There’s one condition, dear.”


“That dog will be mine. And I reserve the right to come and visit my puppy whenever I want.”

We decided she would do her usual exhaustive research and also look into pet insurance. Bull dogs can have health problems. Friends of hers have a Bully and she’ll talk to them. But I wonder if this new addition will be good company for Uno (I couldn’t care less about the cats). He’s been the one and only for six years.

I know how much he loves me and wants to sit on my lap at Christmas. How is he going to feel when I cuddle up to our new baby?

I’ve decided to call the dog, Duce.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Michelle Sim April 28, 2014 at 10:09 am

Oh Donna…you are lovely!


jennifer mook-sang April 28, 2014 at 10:48 am

Hi-larious!!! i had no idea you were such a sucker for ugly dogs, donna 😀


Sherry Isaac May 1, 2014 at 11:13 am

Well, no wonder bulldog lady was so willing to cut the price in half with little haggling. You’re one wise momma, Donna. And, on the trivia front, pretty savvy. Bulldogs have to be birthed by cesarian? Who knew? (Besides you, of course.)

Congratulations on your new baby. As for Uno, dogs are social, I’m sure they’ll be good friends.


Nancy September 4, 2014 at 2:51 pm

Welcome to the wonderful, euphoric world of unconditional love called Dog Ownership.
Bulldogs are marvellous – I wonder if you will have a white one with pink trim? (White coat, pink nose, slightly pink paws).
Don’t you dare tell Lindsay about this!


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